Tuesday 4 January 2011

Me and the X factor


I know this was all over weeks ago but I thought it might be vaguely interesting. So, me and the X Factor, we have a particularly one sided relationship. Basically I hate it with such intent that I don't think I can put down into words what I would do to the people responsible for broadcasting this piece of televisual plague.

I got so angry watching it with my girlfriend that I decided to blog about it but instead of ranting about it for 300 words I thought I would try and uncover WHY I hate it so much and finally give myself closure.

Part of me would actually quite like to enjoy the program even in an ironic sense like most people do. It would be nice to get to Saturday evening and look forward to something on the television instead of transforming into a depressed miser who sits behind his laptop cursing the X Factor and shouting obscenities at Simon Cowell. The only time I can remember getting excited about television was when Walking With Dinosaurs and Band Of Brothers was first aired.

I think I can break down my dislike into a few key areas the first being awkward television, I hate it I find it genuinely difficult to watch television that makes me feel uncomfortable. What is more uncomfortable than watching some poor loser haul themselves up in front of the 'judges' and sing in a voice so terrible it makes your very soul weep. Why would anyone let their friend or family member embarrass themselves so spectacularly in front of the nation, SURELY someone would have said 'I'm sorry but your singing makes me feel like I have wronged you in some way because I don't understand why you would put me through that please don't enter the X Factor'. Maybe people are genuinely that cruel.

The second area is the sort of music it promotes and produces: Pop. Arguably the worst genre in the world in my opinion with only a handful or artists I probably wouldn't kill with fire if given the chance. The whole show is a horrible celebration of bad haircuts, shallow personalities and terrible fashion choices. Unfortunately the show is responsible for some of the worst artists and music in the industry at the moment and yes some may say 'just don't listen to it' but its difficult when their songs are used across many different platforms, television adverts/ shows, shop music, radio play, documentaries but to name a few.

The third aspect is the drama. I've not watched a lot of it but a large proportion of what I have seen is rammed full of weeping individuals having a break down because they've been working really hard for all of 5 weeks and it hasn't quite come out like they expected. I don't want to see people being miserable, it makes me miserable!

The last reason is simon cowell I deliberately neglected to capitalise his name as a sort of 'fuck you' to him, petty and grammatically incorrect, I know. But yea him, in his entirety and everything he has done or will ever be responsible for makes me hate him and I will always hate him.

On the other hand the final is OK because the show then does what it should have always done - celebrate peoples talent and help them to progress. Watching professionals doing their job and singing well is nice, you get a good feeling from it but the best feeling is knowing it is almost over for another year. It was nice to see some round faced chap win and see how happy it made him I mean who doesn't like to see that it's just a shame I've already forgotten his name and he'll only be popular for about 20 minutes.

This show does however make a lot of people very happy and I can see the appeal which is why as much as it pains me to say it, it will be around for a very long time to come maybe I should just jump on the bandwagon, swallow my pride and enjoy it. Or I could just go back to shouting obscenities and wishing a studio light would come crashing down on top of cowells flat top head, yea, I think I'll do that.

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